School... always school.

I have been chatting with my amazingly smart brother in law Bob-O (ha! You can't argue with me, it's MY blog!) and we have been discussing everything from religion to a book I lent him to schooling. And I realized we both have a similar addiction - books and school. I devour books and I am constantly in a state of need for a classroom and learning and structure, I do believe, he does as well.

So now I am thinking school again. While I know the Lieutenant would be nothing but supportive, I don't know if I can for several reasons. The biggest is time. Granted I spent at least two nights a week at home watching brain-numbing television shows, but then there is the homework and projects and class time. I don't think it would be physically possible to squeeze it in. So with that I wondered what exactly would I have to set aside or step down from in order to go back to school?

First, would be the fire department. I'm sure most of you have gathered by now that being an EMT is engrained in my very soul. I need it for several reasons. One, it is a gift given to me by the Creator. I am a caregiver to the core and it is an itch that has to be scratched because my very happiness depends on it. Heck, look at my track record of significant others... each broken in their very own special way and of course I was intent I could fix them, but that is a whole series of posts that I just don't have the energy to summon up right now. While I don't think I would have to give up being an EMT all together, I would have to step down from my position of captain (which has been on my mind a lot lately anyway) and step down from my position of VP of our barely born association. Actually as I am writing this, I am thinking I might have to chose one or the other anyway. But I digress... again. I would also have to lessen the number of CPR classes I am teaching but I think that happens naturally after the beginning of the year, so I don't think that would be too much of an issue.

The next to go would have to be the second job as a massage therapist. I love the people I work with. For a bunch of women, there really is a minimum amount of cattiness and backstabbing. Far less than at the fire department ironically enough. Even though I am only physically there maybe twice every two weeks or so, I am on the schedule just in case someone decides they would like to partake in my mad massage skillz. While I don't NEED this job, it really has become something that I love/hate. The extra money has funded many an addiction feeding shoe shopping trips, not to mention my break from reality in eight days, but it also allows me to keep my skills up with massage. Like it or not, it is pretty easy to slip into a crappy sub-par rub down. And if you hadn't noticed, I'm not down with sub-par.

Alas, then squeezing in family time, fun time and the ever coveted sleep I don't know how I would do it. Granted I did do it for a year when I was in massage school, but so help me if I do that to myself again. I am literally surprised I didn't seriously hurt someone in the timeframe.

Above and beyond all of this... if I actually did what I think I could and put it all aside and go back to school... what on God's green Earth would I go back for? English major and eventually teaching? Oh I would love to teach. Especially high schoolers. And yes I am a glutton for punishment. Or perhaps nursing school to work long strange hours and process the stress that comes along with it?

Oh yes, I have excuses as long as my legs as to why I can't go back to school. I have applied and been accepted to at least three universities in the area over the years and yet, never seemed to get my butt physically into the classroom.

Perhaps I should just take it a step at a time. Take one class. See how it goes. If I love it, I love it. If I hate it, I'm just one class smarter than I was before.



Or we could just chalk this all up to a pre-midlife crisis. Maybe that's it.