Free Associate of Me

Well I am 25 years old, and I have medium length brown hair. I have brown eyes and fake teeth. Oh and hyper extendable elbows. And I have extra bones in my feet, which make my arch fall, and therefore I have no arch. I get nosebleeds every day in the winter no matter how many humidifiers I have in my bedroom. I have severe allergies, some to food, some to everything that grows outside. Hay bales are my kryptonite. Literally. I am also a very sweet and caring person, but I also have a twitch of the devil in me when I get really mad. But that is not too often since it takes a lot to get me to that point. My family calls it "The Wrath of Anna." It's not pretty. My head basically spins around like in the Exorcist. I firmly believe that if people knew half of the things that went through my head, they would all hate me. Because I am the maker of Hateraide. That's right. But still, I would give the shirt off my back for anyone I care about and even those that have hurt me in the past. I hold grudges like a mofo, but when it comes down to it, I get over it and will do anything for anyone. I go out of my way to do wonderful things for my family, partly because I crave positive feedback from them and partly because it is just the way I am and I love making other people happy. Speaking of which, I have a horrible habit of putting other people's welfare before my own, which has resulted in a fair amount of emotional scarring over the years. I still believe I am better for it though. I guess I am just a giant loveable teddy bear that harbors very sharp razor blades inside. One of the few things that get me from nice to nasty in seconds is to mess with my family. They mean the world to me. We never got along as kids... at all, and now that we do, I will fight tooth and nail for them. So don't even go there. I have very few close friends as I have been burned so often I am surprised I am not a constant shade of black. I mean, everyone needs a little toasting from time to time, but I think I have had my fair share. I cannot sit still for very long or I will go crazy or fall asleep. I take on WAY more than I can handle and then somehow pull it off in the end. I love my husband with every fiber of my being and do not doubt for one millisecond that we were meant to be together. I live for sappy chick flicks. The more I cry, the more I like it. Not that I cry or anything. Actually, I cry all the damn time. My initial reaction to any emotion is to cry like a damn baby. I firmly believe I am making up for all the years I couldn't shed a tear even if I tried. I had a massive emotional trauma when I was 18. It tore me up and spit me back out. I cry every time I think about it. Some would say that is what made me so bitter, and I might tend to agree, but I think it goes deeper into that. I fall in love quickly and deeply. I firmly believe that if you are going to love someone, you put it all in or nothing at all. I miss people from my past, but know that it isn't right to remedy that. I wish things could have been different in how I got to where I am, but then turn around and kick myself knowing that I can trace every event that led me to where I am today. I am my worst critic. I can never do anything right or correctly. I could score a perfect 10 and it still wouldn't be enough. I still think it would be cool to be the President of the United States some day, but we all know THAT will never happen. I kick myself daily for never getting my bachelor's degree. I feel less a person because of it. I can cook the pants off a chicken, which I learned from my mother. I don't need recipes because I can wing it and make something completely delicious with a twizzler, some chicken, a can of soup and three pretzels. It is a talent I am very proud of. I used to run and I was hot. I hate running, but somehow it balances me out. It hurts ridiculously, but I love it anyway. I sucked at running, but I put 8 times more heart into it than the 1 varsity runner. I am still a little bitter about that. I am me and I love me on the days when I don't hate me. Basically I am a complicated mess. But that is who I am...: