A Conversation...

One that I was a reluctant participant of recently. But first, a bit of background...

This apartment complex is known for it's, well, suspicious activity. A place where you do not touch any surface with a bare hand for fear of what may be residing there. A place where the mold is so thick in the basement, firefighters had to don SCBA when checking for smoke after someone called in a fire alarm. A place where the rent is low and the tennants' standards are even lower. A place where we do not go inside without a police officer in front of us. Basically, it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

So, we get toned for man with a lac to the head. As the squad was pulling out, I was still en-route so I was debating how to nicely remind them to call for police. Thankfully, the Lieutenant was three steps ahead of me and inquired whether or not deputies were en-route. His response was "Several on scene."

Since we were the second unit, they already had the patient in the back and were addressing his medical concerns. The other four deputies (besides the one IN the squad) stood outside and drew straws to see who would be taking him in or riding along.

The rest of us were leaning back on the second unit chatting. A *presumably* intoxicated male zig-zagged his way towards us. Now mind you, we are all in turn out gear or at least the pants/boots combo and shirts with the department logo on them.

"Heeyyysss... yous guysss neighborsss orr ss-ss-ssommpin?"

"No, we are from the fire department. We are here in case the ambulance needs any help."

"Sssoo, whensdidyas move interhere?"

"Oh we didn't. We just got here. We don't live here."

"Ohhh *grmpleumpf and a sway for good measure*. Does yousss know dat girl... I changeded hers diaperssss whens shess a beebee."

"Um, I'm not sure who you are talking about."

"oohhss... whatsssername... Erinnnnn."

"Yes, she is on the department."

"Sssshhesss, hotttt" *drool*

"Uh... cool."

"Wee'sss juss outss here drinkinnnnshit. Didnnnnn't mean nooos harmsss you knowss? I aint a baddd dude."

"No one is saying you are. We are just here to tend to your friend over there."

"ISss hes gonnaa, um, um, die?"

"No. Not today."

"Cannn I havesss, ushhhh, her phones?"

"Uh, if you mean Erin, no. You can't. You will have to get that from her yourself. I think it would be best if you headed back inside. We will be leaving shortly to take your friend to the hosptial."

"Disssis bulllsheet. You's just donna wanna help meee caussssse I'mma drunkkk."

"Do you need rescue? Because we can take you to the hospital if you need us to."

"Nooo, isss jusss tessting ya."


He went on and on and on but finally zig-zagged and stumbled his way back to the building but the Lieutenant put himself between me and the other EMT and the crazy drunk guy for good measure. He was very patient and kind (reminds me of why I married him - cue the awwww's and gagging). Anywho, the buddy ended up in custody and it turned out to be an uneventful evening after that.

But you can't help but giggle at all the eyes peering around corners and curtains pulled just *thismuch* to the side so a curious eye can peek out and spy. We decided that EMS is actually a spectator sport. I wonder if we could get into the olympics.