Def: Clusterfuck

1. clusterfuck

Military term for an operation in which multiple things have gone wrong. Related to "SNAFU" (Situation Normal, All Fucked Up") and "FUBAR" (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair).

In radio communication or polite conversation (i.e. with a very senior officer with whom you have no prior experience) the term "clusterfuck" will often be replaced by the NATO phonetic acronym "Charlie Foxtrot."

By the time the artillery came in the enemy was already on top of us. It was a total clusterfuck.

2. clusterfuck

Traditionally/originally of military origin.

Today, however, "clusterfuck" is commonly used to descriptively generalize any situation with a large scale of disarray.

possibly synonyms: mess, disaster

1. "Well, that concert was a clusterfuck."
2. "Did you see the clusterfuck of a traffic jam on Main St.?"
3. "That house party turned into a giant clusterfuck once those cops showed up!"

3. clusterfuck

Large quantity of confused people in a disorganized manner.

Sorry I'm late, it was a real clusterfuck on main street.

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Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate Responding With 18 Other Departments:
10. I have no flucking clue who they are or their level of training.
9. They have no flucking clue who *I* am and what my level of training is.
8. #10 & #9 combined = no one trusts the other
7. I cannot learn that many protocols and if I did, whose do I follow?
6. Too many cooks come to the kitchen and each has a different recipe.
5. They have a superiority complex since we respond with a first responder unit and not our ambulance.
4. Radio communication is zippo since we come from two different counties.
3. They run on the assumption that since we just got an ambulance we are only a step above mouth-breathing neanderthals.
2. Because of #3, I cannot run my own scene and I am blatantly ignored.
1. I look young and therefore I am considered a rookie, which causes many of the others on the list.

Bottom line, it doesn't work well. If I were to attend every training for every department, I would be at a different station each night of the week.

On this particular call:
I was shoved out of the way by someone's big fat ass. - Excuse me?! I speak english, you can ask me to step aside if you need me to.

I was told "how would you know?" - Because I have the same amount of training you do asshead.

I was lectured on how I shouldn't impede with "advanced life support" when they are trying to complete interventions. It shows that I have an attitude. - Not even to quietly point out that they were pinching the tubing on the wrong side of the port when administering D50.

I was informed that I do not have the authority to ask people to leave the room. - Even though there are 15 people packed in one living room 10 of which were standing around doing nothing.

It took 4 IV sticks to get a patent line. The first two were attempted in the hand. The third wouldn't run (which of course was mine and thoroughly pissed me off and only lent to everyone in the room thinking I am an idiot). And the last was finally placed in the AC, but HAD to be done by a paramedic because God's-Gift-To-EMS-That-Couldn't-Get-Her-First-Two said so.

My brother almost passed out and had to leave the room. No other EMT's would go check on him because "he wasn't the patient". Remember: there were 10 EMTs standing around with their thumbs up their asses.

It was beyond a cluster and I am still fuming. What should have been a simple call turned into an absolute nightmare. I tried my damndest to control the scene but there were too many hard-ons in the room and I was ignored. Then afterwards I was lectured for it being a cluster. It's shit like this that makes me want to carry "You Are Special" stickers. I could have handed out a whole roll.

Oh well. Live and learn, right? Bah-humbug.