When The Whiskey Gets You.

This weekend, the Lieutenant and I attended a conference for us firefighter type folks. It was a pretty boring weekend but at least I learned a few things, but not from the conference. In order to make this easier upon myself (it is Monday after all), here is the comprehensive list.

1. Do NOT buy a large bottle of whiskey for your husband in an effort to be nice. It will come back to bite you in the ass.
2. When previously mentioned whiskey is consumed in large volumes in a short period of time, it makes sane people act like giant asses.
3. When staying in a hotel with other firefighters you know, do NOT tell them your room number. Apparently it is funny to bang on people's doors at 12am, 2am, 2:30am, 3:30am, 5am and finally 7am.
4. Hell hath no fury like a woman with a cold and no sleep.
5. Rookies don't know any better when you threaten to punch them in the testicles. This is what you get when you bang on my door when I am trying to sleep.
6. Adjoining rooms should never be used when attending such conferences.
7. Falling out of a vehicle because you are drunk, does not make you Spiderman. *glaring at the Lieutenant*
8.Throwing food around a restaurant is never acceptable. Ever. *starts boring holes in the Lieutenant's head*
9. Hang overs are a bummer. But they do not require any pity from me.
10. When I don't get sleep, I morph into a vindictive-super-bitch. Kind of like the Hulk, except without the green skin.

Needless to say, it was a rough one. I toughed it out until 11:30 Friday night with the Lieutenant and then falsely lured him to our room with my womanly she-powers. I didn't have to shut him down though, since he couldn't even get his boots off before he was snoring and drooling. Saturday night, I decided to partake myself. Enough with being the sober one.

I danced with random old men.
I was all sorts of redneck carrying my extra beer in my back pocket.
I flirted with the rent-a-cops.
I now have the nickname "HotAss". (I still don't recall where that one came from... but I do pride myself on my derriere.)

All those shenanigans sans a hangover. Others were not so lucky.

Now I am back at my desk and putting out 'fires' (no pun intended). Waiting on the phone call to tell me how I can improve my trainings. You know, better than they already are.