Last week, we were sitting in church and our pastor mentioned something about doing a funeral for an elderly woman. He said he likes to ask the family about the person and their life. Normally he hears stories from sad but proud family members, eager to brag about their loved one, but it was the one time he question was answered with a deafening silence that left a mark on him. Of course this made me think. What would people say if I died? Morbid, I know but I couldn't help myself. Will people look at my casket and say, "she got it right?" How do I even start?
I struggle daily with my job. In a sixth degrees sort of way, I can see how I make a difference. When I was an EMT, I could see, feel and hear the difference. Since I am human, I generally prefer the instant gratification. So do we all hope to be defined by one single act or do we try to make the greatest impact we can? What makes the greatest impact?
The last six months or so of my life has been a roller coaster of emotions. I got engaged, endured the trials of a long distance relationship, lost my maternal grandma, moved across the country, got married and lost my paternal grandma. It has been an absolute whirlwind and a test to my new marriage. I am so absolutely thankful for JB. He has been there through the tears, anguish and anger, the sleepless nights, the long hours traveling, the boring family get-togethers and my own unpredictable emotions. He has witnessed my family at their best and our moments of the worst and still he loves me. What a crazy wonderful man.
Is it the empty dishwasher that is so great? Is it the silent hugs while I cry over a heart wrenching loss? Is it the extra stolen kiss before he walks out the door for work? Or is it a combination of all of these things?
What are you doing to leave your mark? What are people going to say about you when you're gone?
Think about it.
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