No more.

You know that wedded bliss I was talking about the other day. Well forget it! No more of that mushy gushy I love my big strong manly man of a man crap! Do you know what he did? Okay, so maybe I'm being overly dramatic about it but dangit, it was so not nice and he knows it. (And yes dear, I am making that face at you.)

Somehow last night we ended up laying in bed and talking about his barfing habits. See JB has had the plague since about a week after we got married. He has been coughing so hard he barfs and when that vomit contains Maker's Mark whiskey and it gets caught in your snot factory, you can guarantee it's all over but the crying. So there he was at 3am not talking to Ralph on the big white phone, oh no, he is a yeller and we ain't talking the color. I'm sure you are all assuming I ran into the bathroom to rub his back and hand him a glass of water with which to rinse his mouth... oh no. You can just mark me down for the horrible wife demerits because instead of making sure he was okay, I securely fashioned my pillow over my head in a sad attempt to block out the sound. Hey, if you have been around here long or know me you know that pre-barf gagging noise just sends me right over the edge. See?! Even typing it out is making me gag. The point is, as we were laying in bed discussing the fact that I learned something new about my amazingly wonderful and sweet husband, he starts making that.nasty.noise. Oh yes, he thinks he is soooo funny. So then I start gagging which only encourages him more.

I married a 12 year old boy.



**Note: I still love him with the fire of a thousand suns but sometimes I kind of want to punch him in the arm repeatedly until it actually hurts.