Justice.

I came around the corner with my little red light, sporadically illuminating my dash and frantically clearing the way. I could see the lights from the scene ahead of me and yet it seemed time was going backwards, not allowing me to get there. The scene was cleared while I was en-route, so I eased off the road and gathered my gear. My coat went on over the pair of purple gloves and I reached across the seat to pull my d-fib and jump kit from my car. As I always do, I stopped, took a deep breath and headed up the steep driveway towards the house with every light on.

There was a deputy at the door who gave me a brief nod and instructions not to open the basement door. I didn't need an explanation as I the sound of angry claws, paws and teeth ran into the other side of the door. I edged as close to the opposite wall as my gear would allow me and slowly looked around the small kitchen. From this angle, you would never know anything was even slightly amiss.

I turned to follow the voices coming from the other end of the house and saw it. A wall that was once lined with smiling faces from top to bottom was now bare. All that was left was the few nails that poked out from the drywall. Glass and pictures covered the carpet and made an eerie sound as my weight came down on it, fracturing the pieces even more. All those smiling faces seemed to mock me, trying to convince me this was a happy home. I shrugged off the shiver that ran up my back and continued down the hallway.

The first door to my left was brightly painted, looking cheerful and happy, except the figure slumped on the bed. Her soft red robe, wrapped tightly around her frail body. Her feet made a sick pattern of blood on the floor, presumeably from taking the same path I just had. She did not raise her head, she did not make a sound.

Gently, I called her name to which she didn't even budge. I set all of my gear down and put out my report to the responding ambulance. I could see her chest heaving, attempting to restrain the sobs that were trying to claw their way out. Her hands tighly clung to the crumpled wet tissue that surely was overrun by her now abated tears. I slowly reached out my hand and placed it on hers. Slowly her eyes rose to meet mine. I caught the gasp in my throat as she revealed her battered face.

One eye was nearly swollen shut with a large laceration above it. Blood was smeared across her face and her jaw was turning an ugly shade of blueish purple. She attempted a smile, but it ended as a wince in pain, revealing several broken teeth. I fought hard to hold back the tears of anger, the need to drag that son of a bitch out of the back of the squad car and show him exactly how she feels. Instead I smiled and asked if I could make sure she was physically okay. She just shrugged her shoulders and nodded slowly.

First I cleaned her mouth off only to reveal a lip split in three places. Slowly, I removed most of the dried blood from her swollen face and bandaged her feet. As the responding ambulance arrived, I requested two female EMTs only, as I noted she would instinctively flinch when even the officers approached her. I introduced the other two EMTs and they set about continuing my treatments and getting some vitals. I nearly jumped out of my skin when an officer tugged my sleeve and asked to speak with me in the hall. I excused myself and slowly backed out of the cheery room. The officer pointed to a room behind me, that I had not seen on my way in. It was bare except a single mattress in the middle of the floor. I gasped in horror, straining to keep my tears of hatred from running down my face. I turned to leave. I couldn't handle that horrid room where the sadness and pain pushed on your chest, stealing your breath and sucked the life from you just from being in it.

As I turned, he pointed to the doorknob. As innocent as it seemed, it took me a minute to realize the problem; the lock was on the outside.

I could feel the rage boiling up my neck, my face getting hot with anger. I wrung my hands as I felt the sweat pool in the fingertips, trying desperately to stop their shaking. Pure rage and hatred coursed through my veins. I fantisized about getting 5 minutes alone with him. Just five minutes...

I whispered a prayer through terse lips and found the last ounce of restraint I had left. She was secured to the cot and as they passed she grabbed my arm. Her grip like a vice, I could feel her fingers digging into my skin, even through my thick coat. She said nothing, her lips did not move, but her eyes; oh those sad, mournful eyes, they begged me and tore through my soul. I stopped the stretcher and requested that the squad car be moved so that she did not have to go past that monster.

The ride to the hospital was uneventful. All my questions were answered with only the smallest of responses. I tried and tried not to say anything, not to open my big mouth as well as that giant can of worms that resides in my back pocket, but I couldn't do it.

I asked if she had somewhere else to go. Someone who could take care of her and give her a new start.

The tears shot out of her eyes in a downpour of regret, anger, sadness and grief. Her body shook with the emotions that were dying to get out, slowly strangling the life out of her. Out of the sobs came a sad and mournful no. In that moment, my heart broke into a million pieces.

I was sad and angry. How could a woman have no place to go, nowhere to turn? It was an incredible injustice for her to WANT to leave, but had to resources or means to do it. I held her hand and we cried. I cried for her and for myself. I had the means to leave; I got out.









I gave the report to the nurse through my tear-filled and bloodshot eyes. Solemnly she took my paperwork and I said goodbye to the patient with whom I had formed an unspeakable bond. I told her to be strong and that it was okay to accept the help the nurse and I intended to find for her.

I turned and walked from the room, a little more broken and lot more determined.