Can I have one?

Recently, there was a bit of a call war going on between the Lieutenant and Gunther and somehow I got stuck in the middle...

Gunther works with us on Saturdays and usually he brings something tasty to grill for lunch. Well, the Lieutenant thought it would be funny to speculate the odds of us getting an EMS call right before the grilling was to be completed. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened next. Yep, had a call... a code even. Since I am such a nice person, I decided I would take over the grilling duties since I had just gotten off of work and needed to do some paperwork at the station anyway.

As we all sat down to eat, Gunther puts down his brat (the edible kind, not the child kind) and stares straight at the Lieutenant and wishes hell and brimstone in the form of a structure fire. We laugh, we cried and then we waited for the tones.

Nada.

The Lieutenant and I headed on home and started cleaning the house and doing Saturday chores. Just as I turned the hot water on... you guessed it... beep beep beep... attached garage on fire.

Rat bastard.

Thankfully the homeowners channeled their inner fireman and put most of it out before we got there. Gunther and the Lieutenant couldn't resist mentioning the irony. I vowed to kick both of them in the face if there was another call. That's when Gunther asked me what I would do if he said the magic words...

I turned... I glared... and I informed him I don't get even, I get ahead.

*blink blink*

He just stared at me like I just offered a lap dance and commenced a red-faced fit of hysterical laughter. Apparently, he heard... I don't get even, I give head.

Uh... yeah. Not quite the same my friend.

I'm not sure where the communication broke down. Either I need to enunciate better or Gunther needs to channel all incoming conversation through the brain upstairs and not the little one downstairs.

Either way, that phrase is now added to the Things You Shouldn't Say On Scene list. Oops.